5 Things Introverts are Tired of Hearing
Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash
1) “Smile.”
“Are you okay?”
“Why don’t you smile?”
“You should smile more.”
“Be happy.”
Smile.
This is by far the most irritating thing to hear and you do not even need to be an introvert to deal with this issue.
Some people just naturally have a resting bitch face or maybe they don’t feel the need to strain their cheekbone muscles 24/7. (Fun fact: I tried to continually smile all day once and your face does get pretty sore after a while.)
Not for a second do people perhaps think:
Hmmm, maybe they’re not smiling cause their dog just died? Maybe they’re having a miserable day? Maybe they’re having the greatest day of their life but their mouth just naturally slopes downward? Or maybe they just don’t. feel. like. smiling.
Simple as that.
Hearing this only made me more insecure and less likely to ever express myself or build a relationship/friendship with someone.
2) “You have to come out of your shell.”
I went into a big spiel about this in my post below:
Being an Introvert Is a Disability and a Gift (thecelluloidwallflower.com)
I am not a turtle. I am not a snail. Thus, I will not be coming out of a shell.
Although this sounds friendly on the surface, to an introvert it’s very belittling. Eventually, I will open up and become more talkative once I know someone for a reasonable amount of time, but patronizing, pressuring comments like these will only keep me further up that "shell".
3) “Why don’t you talk?”
What a question…
“Why don’t you talk?”
“Why are you so quiet?”
This always made me even more socially anxious because now I’m pretty much forced into explaining the reason for my personality which no one should ever have to explain.
Just think of how offensive it would be to ask someone:
“Why do you talk so much?”
It feels the same way to an introvert.
Sometimes it isn’t anything to do with being quiet, there are some days where I just don’t feel like talking.
This especially applies to introverts who don’t fall under the shy or socially anxious umbrella. They just prefer processing their thoughts alone and choose to avoid small talk and there is nothing wrong with that.
4) “I thought you were mean/stuck up when I first met you.”
Often people would say this after they befriended me.
Not smiling and not talking does not make me mean or stuck up. Being condescending and judging my personality actually does.
The introvert you might think is mean or stuck up very well could be the most loving, down-to-earth person you can meet, but you’ll never know unless you get to know them first.
5) “I’ve never heard you talk so much!”
But this is what they wanted!
The introvert finally “comes out of their shell” so to speak, and it’s still not good enough.
The other person still feels the need to dig a little patronizing comment in there like:
“I’ve never heard you talk so much!”
or
“Wow, you talk!”
Statements like this only drew more attention to my personality and made me even more likely to avoid talking. After all, now it feels as though I’m auditioning for American Idol for simply speaking in a conversation (and no one needs that pressure, especially an introvert).